Walking Ourselves Through to Christ

From December 26, 2020

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I keep having these conversations lately with one of my kids. They go like this:

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Me: “No emotion is bad. Anger, sadness, happiness, excitement, it’s all part of being human.”

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Child: “Anger is bad. Sadness is negative.”

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Me: “No, it’s possible to let our anger take control and make *bad decisions*, but anger itself, and sadness, they’re just part of the range of feelings we experience as humans. They’re very okay and normal.”

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Then we talk about our hard emotions, and how to acknowledge them gently, honor them, allow them to be present, but not allow them to be in charge. And how to gently walk ourselves through to the other side.

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And I realize, I literally hafta do this for myself every. daggum. day. So much so that I’m often not conscious I’m doing it. Because I am an #enneagram4 and I wake up to sadness and inadequacy as my companions every. morning.

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And this child o’ mine says, “But you’re ALWAYS happy,” with an eye roll. And I get to tell them, “Nope, I am absolutely NOT, and this is how I gently walk my overwhelming feelings to Jesus every morning and wrap them up in truth.” Over. And over. And over.

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{Child’s eyes go wide as they realize *mom really, deeply needs and uses these tools and truths she keeps tryin’ to hand me.*}

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And it is not spiritual bypassing, or putting bandaids over gaping wounds. It’s being gentle with myself, living into my need for the raw reality of the Gospel, and discovering anew every morning that His mercies are enough for me. Ya know—his strength, my weakness and all that.

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Parenting is brutally hard, and just as profoundly cool as it is hard, when I can see this stuff becoming practically, tangibly real to them—because they can see their need for Christ paralleling my own. (Oh God, please let it be real. Please make yourself real.)

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(Silo image just because I love it... and you know the thing about me being a sucker for a sunset.)