• Dana L. Butler

The Honest Prayer of a {recovering} Fixer

Oh Father,

I have so longed to pour into the ones you’ve put before me, to speak truth and share insight and see people set free, hearts impacted, lives changed.

But it’s not my job to fix, and when I’m quick to say the things that are true, I so often miss seeing, knowing, understanding, connecting with the heart of the one You’ve put before me.

And I don’t just miss their heart.  I often miss encountering You in them.

So God–

Teach me to be a friend who doesn’t need to fix.  Teach me how to companion well and love well, to be moved by genuine, kind curiosity, to lay down my need to diagnose and repair hearts.  Teach me to friend and love and pour into out of a place of rest — not taking on more weight than I’m called to bear.

Teach me to hold my friends’ hearts and stories with hands of gentle faith.  Give me eyes that look beyond broken details to see Your hands weaving, Your heart pursuing, Your process unfolding in deep places.

Give me discernment to know when to speak loving truth into a heart, and when to keep quiet.  When to give input and when to seek to understand even more before I seek to make myself understood.

Give me grace to be present.

To be one who can sit beside and hold a hand and make coffee and banana bread and grab a tissue and be with a person in the midst of their struggle.

Who can quietly, confidently say “friend, let’s go to Jesus together, carry all of this pain, all these unanswered questions to Him and just lay all of it at the foot of the cross.

Yes — the cross — let me walk beside you to the cross.

And then do that and leave the process up to You.

Because You’re the One with the answers, the power, the fiercest commitment to hold and heal and restore.  To glorify Yourself in our most horrific messes.  You’re the perfect Friend, the perfect Healer.

So I trust You to be who You are, and I lean into You, choosing to let go of the heaviness of my own need to fix, and enter instead into the rest of faith.

Because You’ve already carried it all.


Hi friends,

I wrote most of the above prayer nearly 2 months ago, then let it sit in my “drafts” folder to be pulled out at the right time.  And it’s interesting how the Lord has brought my heart right back around to contemplating these ideas in the last several days.  In the next week or so, I plan to write a more in-depth post about offering to others our authentic, attentive, presence, and laying down our need to pull apart and fix another’s heart.

In the mean time, I offer these initial thoughts to you today.  Your feedback is always welcome and invited.  (Click here to hop over to the blog, if you’d like.)

May y’all be acutely aware today of how extravagantly, how richly, your Father loves you.  May you slow down to notice the small, to pay attention to the often overlooked tasks and moments and people in your life.  And may you encounter Him intimately as you’re present and at rest, right where you are.

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