• Dana L. Butler

Rough Morning… An Unfiltered, Not-Yet-Finished Story

Out with the old:  If I had a couple grand for a memory foam….

Hello there my friends, This is one of those mornings.  Oh man.  Let me explain  [and possibly whine a little?].  I’m going to copycat one of my fave bloggers and a real encouragement to me personally, the lovely Robin Dance (because imitation IS the highest form of flattery, after all, annnnnd I really don’t know a better way to explain all of this.) in the Roman numeral format that will follow.


Isaac’s been sick for a week… and so have I, but I’m doing much better now.   His sickness, however, has resulted in multiple nights in a row of… let’s just say “severely limited….” sleep for all 3 of us.


Last night on the way to house church, I was telling Stan that my back was INCREDIBLY tight and sore, and asked him to rub my back when we got there.  He agreed.


Upon arrival, my friend Renee’s husband, who’s studying to be a D.O., volunteered to manipulate my back.  I volunteered to be a “practice victim” for him… and oh MAN, it was awesome.  SO. NEEDED. THAT.  I felt so much better afterward.


We currently have a  t e r r i b l e  mattress.  Like, uuuurgh… it is so DEAD.  And dented.  In the mornings after Stan gets up to shower, I (and my sore back) roll over into the middle of the king sized mattress, onto the “hump,” in order to get an hour or so of supported sleep before Isaac wakes up.


Enter the Sport Utility Vehicle song from the old Veggie Tales movie, “A Snoodle’s Tale.”  It rolled around in my head this morning over. and over. and over…. while I rolled around in my more-frustrating-than-usual bed trying to get comfortable and go back to sleep.  “I like your car.  I like yours too.  Is it a jeep?”  Sigh….  (If you’d also like to sing this song uncontrollably, constantly, click here.  It won’t fail you.)


I rolled around trying to find a comfortable position for a good hour and 45 minutes, singing about a ridiculous SUV in my head, before I finally fell asleep, kind of diagonal across the lower half of our bed.  10 minutes later my beloved hubby was waking me up.  He had to leave for work… and Isaac was awake.


I stumble downstairs, realizing that all of the manipulation and snap-crackle-popping that my friend’s hubby did on my back last night has been completely UNdone by our ridiculous mattress.  My whole back feels stiff and I would pay someone a LOT of money right now to DIG into my back muscles.  I wouldn’t care if they bruised me.  Unfortunately, Isaac’s not strong enough. 


I’ve been up since 5:30am.  Coffee, praise the Lord, was made by our house mate on her way out the door for work.  I pour in my almond milk instead of my usual heavy whipping cream (YUM) because our church is finishing up a 21-day Daniel fast this week… so no dairy.  It’s okay… Jesus, not heavy whipping cream, is my source of strength.  I can handle this.  I can.  I CAN.  (Repeat.)


Just now, as I finished writing point viii, I picked up my coffee mug to take one more sip.  It’s… GONE.  And no more almond milk in our fridge either.  No more coffee for this tired mama. :-/  Sigh….


All of that to say… it’s one of “those” mornings.  One where Jesus really IS enough, but my flesh sure does have a tougher time than normal believing it.  I keep praying, telling Him He’s it for me today… He’s my Source, my strength, my joy for this day.  My back doesn’t feel better yet… but my (previously, and still slightly, whiny) heart is getting there.  Funny (and supernatural) how our emotions start to line up when we intentionally lean  into Him, remind our own souls that He’s our EVERYTHING, and worship in spite of our emotions and/or how we physically feel.  He really is faithful.  Truth brings perspective.  He really is enough.  He IS.  I so need to KEEP reminding my heart of this this morning.


Side note:  Thank you Jesus for this incredibly awesome January thunderstorm that we’re experiencing this morning.  Oh, it is so beautiful.  God is speaking my love language… the thunder and lightening reminding me with each flash and boom that He’s here, He sees, and He cares.  His grace is sufficient for this day.

Blessings to you all today, friends.  May you experience His all-sufficiency today in your own frustrating/difficult/painful/annoying/exhausting-NESS.  May you draw near to His heart and find in Him all you need for this moment, and the next, and the next.  Annnnd may I.  (Definitely a little tougher than usual today…. But I know He’s unchanging, no matter my circumstances.)

Moving on with this day now… My mantra?  Jesus, you’re enough.  You’re enough.  You’re enough.  You’re enough for me in this moment…..

Image Credit: greendairy.com

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