• Dana L. Butler

In Which I Bare the Burning of My Soul {with some measure of brevity, believe it or not}


I skipped my morning pages today.

Stan woke me up, sick and in need of a couple more hours of sleep, so I stumbled downstairs to make coffee and sit with our early-rising little guy instead of sleeping another half-hour and then spilling bleary words into my journal, as is my custom of late.

And while the morning was peaceful (not quiet, for sure — but peaceful), I can already tell a difference in my creativity level today. A difference which by no means frightens me, but definitely heightens my awareness of how true it is that “creativity begets creativity.”

Not sure who first said that, but it is most certainly reality for me. The more mornings find me pouring utterly disorganized words onto ruled pages, the more my heart’s depths seem to rise to the surface, making themselves more readily available for intentional excavation.

So y’all. Getting real with you {again} here.

Sunday’s post, in which I shared one of my own songs with you on video for the first time ever — I’ve been absolutely undone by the response it’s received. Just… dismantled inside.

Laid low.

On my face before Jesus, thanking Him for how He has used my small offering to awaken longing, to usher in His presence as you beautiful folks have listened. As you’ve deeply heard and received and even celebrated my heart poured out through my music.

I am so grateful.

The last couple evenings, y’all, I’ve sat at my computer and continually clasped hand over mouth, heart full to exploding, as you all have overwhelmed me in the best way possible with words of how Jesus has intimately touched and awakened your hearts through my worship.

I said this last night in response to one of the comments on that blog post, but I’ve gotta tell you here today: over and over again as I’m before the Lord these days, I ask Him that my life — my worship, my writing, my authentic presence — would awaken hearts, would provoke longing, would stir this deep, burning desire for intimacy with the Almighty.

That He would increase and I would decrease, and in my decreasing come so utterly alive on the inside that merely seeing me or hearing me or reading me would cause His heartbeat to echo in souls —

Eternity.

Eternity.

Eternity.

Woven into our hearts, this deep-unto-deep burning for what we were all created for — the fiery passion of knowing Him, of intimately knowing His heart, and the fully alive joy of making that Heart known to a world that’s desperately in need of that same holy, pure, white-hot intimacy with their Creator.

And right now my kids are waking up early from naps, so I’m wrapping this post up at a radically short (for me) four hundred eighty-something words… and asking Jesus to somehow make His heart known here today through this royally un-thought-through outpouring.

One final thought: I so love y’all, my friends. I can never thank you enough for the gift of your companionship here. For loving Him beside me, arm-in-arm.

*****

This is Day 15 of a 31-day series. You can find the rest of the series here.

Also, if you’d like to follow along so you don’t miss any of my 31 Days posts, I invite you to subscribe to receive each post in your inbox.

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