• Dana L. Butler

In Which Change Happens Fast and Emotions Are Mixed and Swirling

I’ve escaped to Starbucks with my husband’s blessing for a quick evening alone. Left the to-do lists and boxes at home because holy cow, I am desperate for some room for my soul to breathe.

Because– did I mention we’re MOVING?!

Y’all, we finally got our offer. It’s a cash offer and we’re under contract and so far, things are going smoothly. Hopefully “smooth” will still be my descriptor after our inspection this Friday.

Last Tuesday evening, a week ago tonight, we had a showing. Stan had a *feeling,* said he was all excited and peaceful and he just knew this was the one. My response, I think, was something like, “Oh babe, I wanna believe you but I’m afraid to…”

But deep in my gut, I had a feeling too.

We went to Costco during the showing, y’all. The place we went during the 2 showings that ended up being no-shows. The joke became, “Don’t go to Costco during a showing – they won’t show!”

Guess the Lord redeemed Costco for us.

So we sat there in the Costco food court that evening with a cartful of bulk groceries and plates full of pizza, and in between putting bites of food in small mouths, we whispered the same ol’ prayers: Lord, please let ’em show. Please give our home favor. Please let this be the one. And please, PLEASE help us trust you no matter what.

The next morning I took the kids to the zoo and tried not to think about how intensely I longed for the “we have an offer” phone call. Got a call from our realtor friend to let me know they’d asked for comps. This was a good sign.

Checked out giant tortoises with the kids and rode the carousel, then drove home and tucked them in for naps.

The clock ticked… ticked… ticked…

And the call came. “We have an offer.”

It was a little on the low side, so we countered, and the buyer accepted our counter.

That’s the story in a nutshell and the hand of God over this whole thing has been so, so apparent.

So we’ve spent the last week making phone calls and getting our arms around our Kansas City friends and purging our home of everything we don’t absolutely have to take with us. Downsizing from 6 bedrooms to 2 is no small task.

We found an apartment complex in Littleton we’re excited about and are in the process of getting locked into a one year lease there. After that, we’ll see. The adventure continues, I guess.

As things stand now, the plan is that we ship out August 2nd – 3 & 1/2 weeks from now.

And you’d think, with all we have to do between now and then, I’d be at home packing boxes tonight.

But the last week has been an absolute blur of busyness and mixed emotions. We’ve spent sweet time with Stan’s cousin and his family who’ve become dear to our family over the years we’ve lived in KC. We’ve shared our news with our church family, and I helped lead our church fam in worship for the last time this past Sunday. {Speaking of emotions.}

And tonight, my heart just needs to breathe. And to tell you that oh man, this is happening fast. And now that things are in motion, I feel even more peaceful about our move than I did before. A deep settledness and joy about where we’re going and who we’re going to be with. I also feel more grief over leaving Kansas City than I expected to feel. My heart is tearing and I’m taking this as confirmation that I’ve lived and loved wide open in this place.

So the peace, excitement, and pain swirl around in my heart, this mixture that compels me to lean into His heart in gratitude and utter dependence in the midst of the external flurry of activity.

And the cocoon? I’m not sure what’s happening cocoon-wise right now, but I do know that this right here is not a short-ish season like I’d originally expected, but a longterm lifestyle God’s asking us to intentionally step into.

And I long to say yes to Him in this new season. Because maybe it’s less black and white than I thought. Maybe it’s more learning to carry the hammock and the cocoon in my heart and let all my emerging come *out of* that place of intentional rest and selectiveness about what activities we say yes to.


I’m clicking publish tonight with very little editing, and thanking you for grace as you read my jumbled heart tonight.

Also? Thank you for your prayers. For the way you’ve loved and prayed us through this waiting season. Your continued prayers for our family as we transition to Colorado are more appreciated than I can say.

So much gratitude.

And so much love to you, dear friends.

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