How God Reminds Me Of His Heart In the Midst of Pain
Well… I’ve sat down to write this post 3 separate times now. Haven’t been able to figure out what, if anything, to say. And it’s definitely taken me some time and mega intentionality with the Lord in order to get to a place of decent perspective in this. The last several days have been… difficult, to say the least. Stan and I, our marriage, our family? We’re all fine. Great, actually. And we had a sweet time with Stan’s parents and sis and bro-in-law and our cute niece and nephew who were in town over the weekend. But some other events have occurred which have caught me completely off guard and have been incredibly painful and I think I’ve been kind of in shock… and I’m definitely nowhere NEAR able to share ANY of the specifics here in this space. So I’m sorry in advance that this post feels really vague. I’ve gone back and forth over whether to even post ANYthing related to this, to my heart in the midst of it. But, the reality is that this situation is a current reality for me. Ha… profound, eh? And even though I can’t share details, it IS what I’m walking through right now and these ARE the circumstances in which the Lord is currently meeting me and sustaining me and speaking to me. And I do want to just share briefly some truths that God’s reminding me of in the midst of all of this:
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” (Verse 1 of Psalm 91. You can read the entire Psalm here. It is awesome.) No matter WHAT my external circumstances look like, or feel like, God offers to me the refuge and rest that come from dwelling, abiding, in the shelter of the Most High.
He is more than enough for me, and even in this, He extends to me grace for each moment, deep peace, and offers me an unshakable-ness that comes from being firmly rooted and grounded in Him, in His love for me and in my identity in Him.
In all of the deep places of my heart, these places where I’m hurting and grieving, God’s heart, His commitment to me, is to come into those places, to be new flesh to cover my raw wounds, to be the ultimate Healer of my heart.
God is zealous and fiercely committed to encountering me in intimacy in the midst of my grief and loss. He will do this to the degree that I choose to sit before Him and wait on Him to bring His sweet comfort as opposed to running around searching for comfort in other places. He uses a few other relationships for sure to bring a degree of healing and peace in the midst of pain, but these really deep, raw wounds in my heart, they can only be filled, covered, comforted, and healed by the Creator and “knower” of my inmost being.
This is the way it is. This is what I know to be true about the heart of God, about His character that is absolutely unchanging, no matter how circumstances and relationships shift and change.
And for these reasons, I can say with absolute confidence and honesty: I am okay. I really am. I am hurting and grieving and pressing into the Lord in the midst of it, and He sustains… provides… comforts… heals. He is more than enough…and will continue to be.
Blessings to you, friends. May God encounter you profoundly with the practical reality of these truths in the midst of your own difficult or painful circumstances. In it all, He is after our hearts. Our surrender. Our trust. Our leaning in.
Speaking of leaning… the other day I woke up and this old hymn was in my head, totally out of the blue. I hadn’t thought of it in years…. but the Lord was definitely using these lyrics to speak to me and adjust my perspective in that moment.
What a fellowship, what a joy divine, Leaning on the everlasting arms; What a blessedness, what a peace is mine, Leaning on the everlasting arms.
Refrain: Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms; Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.
Oh, how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way, Leaning on the everlasting arms; Oh, how bright the path grows from day to day, Leaning on the everlasting arms.
What have I to dread, what have I to fear, Leaning on the everlasting arms? I have blessed peace with my Lord so near, Leaning on the everlasting arms.
Elisha A. Hoffman, pub.1887 ref. by Anthony J. Showalter,pub.1887
image credit: christianity.about.com
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