Belong: In Which I Beat For Eternity
Life moves in this surreal, slow motion dance these days, as I pack boxes and wipe surfaces and faces and take load after load to Goodwill.
Tonight I watch the sky as I drive to meet a dear, long-time friend for one last coffee date before we move. Rays of sun pierce clouds and I think of how Heaven is my witness to this season. How my Father is the One who’s intimately acquainted with my heart, sees every emotion and deeply knows them all, even the ones I can’t put words to in this season.
And oh, there are so many of those.
My friend and I chat over a Starbucks table, then we pick up and drive down the street to a local park where we walk laps around the lake. We talk church life and parenting and our hearts relative to it all. She’s known me forever, this friend. Like 12 years worth of forever. Been witness to all my emerging and becoming.
Yet I drive home aching. Lonely, and this void isn’t one that this friend or any other could fill, though for a few minutes I let my mind wander to Colorado, wondering if when we’re there I’ll feel a deeper sense of belonging than I do here.
I pull into the driveway, breathe in the 10:30 pm Kansas City humidity, look up through the haze at the nearly full moon and I’m reminded that this longing for a place my heart can nestle down into, spread out, call home? It’s a Divine gift. It’s an echo carved into my soul and it’ll never be totally filled. Not on this side of Heaven, anyway.
I beat for it, ache for it, pound for it, cry for it…
Belong to it.
His eternal, invisible, all-sufficient heart that is my home.
Linking up with Lisa-Jo and the 5 Minute Friday crew because this word just drew me in tonight… and because I love writing in community with these precious ladies.
Know someone who'd appreciate this?